Happy Valentine's day! Did you get gifts like everyone else today?
My sarcasm is not the best, but newsflash, I am a romantic, and the idea of showing your love one day out of the whole year seems a bit too "boring & with lack of imagination"! Since we know the Alpha women have a higher bar to meet when it comes to love, I'd love to share the things I've done this year to spice up my relationship with my fun-loving partner. Let's be honest; relationships take work! We must invest in them to keep it spicy, fun, loving, and most of all, exciting! If not, it becomes stale, and truthfully the food in America is about all I can handle being stale! Finding love is somehow always magical initially, but then, we work, take care of the kids, do yard work, forget our makeup, and transform into these nagging little monsters because life gets the best of us.
So how do we shake it off? We don't! We find moments in between to make it all worth it and involve our partners to show them they are genuinely appreciated. Being perfect 24/7 is unrealistic, and praying for less tiredness when you have kids, a full-time job, or a business is like asking Trump to make sense. So without further ado, if your relationship is getting a little stale… Here are 5 tips to spice it up:
1. Make a list together - Trying new things with my partner has always been vital, given we are both adventurous, but we don't necessarily enjoy the same things. So taking 10 minutes on a random day to make a list saves us the trouble of guessing! Sometimes, I toss in fun city adventures so we can feel young! Happy hour, dancing in the rain, grabbing a scooter in the city, parasailing, etc.
2. Spice up the bedroom! - Handcuffs? High heels? See-through lingerie? Yes, please! If you are shy, I definitely recommend this! There is no better way to spice it up than to actually spice it up with your partner! Try new things. Sexting is now a thing. Introduce new elements. Talk about fantasies! Relationships become stale when you stop learning about one another. Trust me, there is always something new to learn about your partner! When it comes to fantasies, don't be shy to ask and try not to judge; after all, they are fantasies!
Ps...Our upcoming book clubs have exclusive coaches focusing on sensuality & sexuality... don't forget to RSVP!
3. Touch more often! - Touching fuels your bond. There are plenty of research studies and data that discuss how couples can go down the path of disconnection due to lack of affection. Daily, I touch my partner between 15 to 20 times, often unintentionally. Touching eases stress and creates a relaxed environment. We both work from home, sometimes I'm cooking, and he will come over and massage my shoulders. While he is on zoom calls with no camera… I do the same. I run my fingertips through his hair or arms when I leave the room. Sometimes, I kiss him on the neck before I start a new project. Trust me, you won't be reprimanded for touching other places at random times! There is always some sort of touching going on.
4. Plan it yourself! - Sensual or not, Initiative is sometimes the best approach, and in my relationship, it works miracles! When I want to surprise him, I simply add it to the family calendar. It takes the weight off him having to do one more thing at the end of the day. Sexy time, however, is never planned, because why not make it spontaneous?! Try moving away from being an "only evening sexy time" type of woman… you'll thank me later.
5. Get off your phone! - There is nothing more annoying than trying to have a conversation with someone who doesn't listen. We are probably all guilty in this day and era, but having conversations and listening to our partners' needs is equally important. Make time to give your partner your undivided attention. Create a "no cell" time. For me, that's usually during lunches and after 10 PM.
I hope you find the courage to step out of your comfort zones. After all, if you're not having fun with your partners, but you want it to be more fun and exciting… try new things and spice it up alphas!
Jenny Ramirez is a business leader, mental health advocate, women empowerment activist, and writer on women's issues across the globe. She is an adventurous soul who enjoys exploring different cultures and connecting with women from different walks of life during her free time.