Are we doing women a disservice in four eloquent words, or have we completely misunderstood the narrative of what women are trying to convey by doing it all? I am on your side, but not on the side of watching women slave over the idea that they must do it all to prove their womanhood! I have watched many of my friends, including myself, be an overachiever without complaining and end up completely burnt out by trying to be a "woman that can do it all." Quite impressive, but my question remains, why are we pushing women to be superwomen? And lean in when we don't hold the same belief for men? In all honesty, being a daughter, sister, partner, business owner, friend to unique souls, and now-step mom-ish is FREAKING exhausting! Now, add the AMERICAN-DREAM expectations for women… You're 30; do you have kids yet? Married? Successful career? Bought your dream home?
Yes, yes, yes! I did most of this way before the 30-year mark, and rightfully so, I knew it wasn't the life I wanted. The expectation of always being so fully engaged in all areas of your life to prove the point that - WOMEN can do it all is ridiculous! This isn't a rat race with men, and quite honestly, this competition with other women has become distasteful. I am proud of the women that dare to say; you know what, "that just isn't something I want to add to my plate right now." Knowing yourself enough to create your own pace for the life you want should be celebrated. If only we could give women the motivation to be whoever the hell they wanted to be whenever they wanted to be - we would have more women doing what they are genuinely passionate about. This is not to say you are incapable or that you can't do it all. I am sharing with you that I am a woman fully aware of my potential, and while I enjoy the company of having a partner. I also enjoy the quality of work I do when I am alone. I enjoy being a night owl and writing without feeling pressured to share that time with my partner or kids. Could I have children? Yes! Could I split my time and have excellent time management skills to fit it all in? Yes! I am saying that we, too, can normalize not being so stretched just because society is demanding that we do it all at once to be considered "woman enough"! Or to be better than Becky next door! Here are three tips if you are still figuring out what you want in life: Set your pace! - Be the kind of person who has a say when you want life to happen to you. Example: You may be at the age where all your friends have kids. You may find that it is not necessary for you right now, and that is A-okay! If your goal is to build X amount of businesses before you have children or none at all, take all the time you need. Split your time how you see fit - Doing it all does not mean everything has to fit in one day! Stop it! If family and business matter to you, but you want to do both well. Schedule it so you can focus uniquely on one or the other. Stop asking for validation - Your life is uniquely yours. It will probably not look like others within your circle. Looking for answers from people who have a different life than what you imagined can become mentally exhausting. It won't be very clear when you are constantly trying to prove that you can keep up with a life you didn't want to begin with. We recently spoke about "women having a voice" to best-selling author and Oprah Super Soul's speaker, Elizabeth Lesser, and she opened up another layer of understanding - I recommend listening.
When we start asking ourselves what we want vs. what others want of us, our fulfillment buckets begin to make sense. Doing it all is great, but you know what's magnificent? Setting your own pace for the life you genuinely envision! So go out there and be proud of the life you want without the pressure of doing all that society demands of you!