Why is there always hesitancy in chasing our dreams and making the things we imagine to be impossible?
Have you ever asked yourself what in the world do I really want? Can you genuinely do it without laughing or saying, well maybe if “this” or “that”… or the one we all love “in a perfect world, I would...”
Stop right there!
Is it possible that you have already developed a belief system that you can’t achieve what you want?
I was definitely one of those individuals that often too harshly criticized my desires and goals. I lived in fear of failure and disappointing others. The truth is, we often compromise and people-please to the point that we forget what we actually want.
I can’t begin to explain the satisfaction level of waking up and feeling like you truly live in your purpose. Sadly we often live out our lives for others and never really give much thought to what we want. I cannot emphasize this enough; I hired a coach to walk me through “self-awareness.”
I can give you many examples, but I’ll share one that was really a light-bulb moment for me.
My coach asked me, “What do you really want?”
A reminder here that we are often afraid of negative emotion, so we fail to answer, or when we do answer, it is followed by all the excuses in the world; here was my response...
If I didn’t have a house (laughing) in a perfect world, I would travel the world connecting with women leaders to learn more about international business.
By saying it out loud, it meant that there were some hard truths to accept ...
I regretted buying a home.
I was unhappy in my marriage.
I felt stuck living a domestic life when I really wanted to be free.
My dreams had taken a back seat to make my family happy.
Our brains are programmed for survival, not for the fulfillment, so we often don’t know how to look for awareness in making ourselves happy, but rather how to satisfy the collective (family or friends).
Understand this. I wasn’t ready to get divorced, sell the house I had just bought, tell my family that I hated my corporate job, or that I thought my 4-year college education was a complete joke!
Here are 4 steps that helped me step into my purpose, and I now practice with my clients:
Take the energy to really listen to yourself and what you want. Easier said than done, start by journaling and really letting everything you want out of your chest without feeling limited! I bought this “Let that shit go” journal a while back, and it really helped with writing.
Tell yourself the truth despite the emotions it brings up. Understand that owning your truth despite those negative emotions is what will get you closer to living in your purpose.
Accept fear and let it sink in! Let the fear marinate; of course, it is scary! Accepting fear means leaning into your truths of what may come if you really open yourself to explore your wants.
Choose to pursue, delay, or deny! When you truly listen to yourself, you shock your brain and quickly start placing all these limiting beliefs because fear starts crawling in at the thought of accepting it. I want you to remember that you have a choice. You can choose to pursue what you want; you can even choose to delay going after it or ultimately decide to deny to pursuit it.
Regardless of what you choose, friends, allow yourself to accept that you can achieve those desires. Making a choice or change once you know what you want can leave you feeling like you will disappoint others. Have the courage to honor your own desires, and if you are hesitant, ask yourselves…
What are you afraid to know?
What desire don’t you want to acknowledge and why?
I see many people give up their desires because they are not willing to do what it takes to honor their truths. I can say with full transparency that I learned from that lesson. I stuck around in my own denial for more than 5 years before chasing my dreams. Self-awareness is a skill, and you will always get better at accomplishing your desires when you choose to create your perfect world instead of imagining it.
Jenny Ramirez - a business leader, mental health advocate, women empowerment activist, and writer on women issues across the globe. She is an adventurous soul who enjoys exploring different cultures and connecting with women from different walks of life during her free time.